Beautiful Scars

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By Ma. Doreen Era E. Murata

When we get wounded, the majority of our reactions and thoughts focus on how we can hide the scars that the wounds leave behind. We spend excessive amounts of money, time and effort on products promoted to erase or minimize scars. There is nothing wrong with that. However, there are scars worth showing: scars that are testaments to our strength, patience and endurance.

Remember that scar on your knees from when you were learning how to ride a bike? It’s a testament to how you strived to learn balance in life: something that is very important as you grow older.

How about that scar on your elbow from when you fell off your swing during pre-school? Remember how liberating it felt when you swung high, and how painful it was when you fell? It’s a scar that reminds you that it’s okay to let go, but to always have caution as well.

And there are also wounds that are invisible to the naked eye. These are the types of wounds that take longer to heal. Sometimes, they never do. They continue to exist in your subconscious. You keep convincing yourself that that it’s healed, when in fact, it isn’t. And if it does heal, it leaves behind the kind of scars that you tend to hide.

Truth is, you should not be afraid or ashamed to show your scars. These are testaments to how you have journeyed and learned in life.

There’s a story about a mom and her son:

“Mom, how did I come out of your womb?”

“The doctor opened my tummy to let you out, son,” she replied.

“Was it painful, mommy?”

“A little bit, but they gave me something that took away the pain. The stitches left a scar.”

“You have a scar, mommy?”

“Yes, son. It’s a long scar on my tummy.”

“And you are not shy of it?”

“No, son. I am not ashamed of it. This scar reminds me of how it felt to bring you into this world. Of how happy I felt when I first felt your little movements inside of me.”

“Are you happy to have me, Mommy?”

She smiled softly and put the boy in her lap. She held his hand and kissed his hair. “Of course, I am happy to have you, dear. You are a very precious gift to me. You gave my life a new meaning.”

“Even if Daddy hurt you often because of me?”

“You are different from your dad, son. I do not hate you because of him,” she explained.

“Thank you, mommy.” The little boy jumped off her lap and ran outside.

She smiled and stood. Her son gave her life a new beginning. She was ready to leave her marriage before she got pregnant with him. Then she got pregnant, and she wanted to give her son a happy and complete family life.

When her husband found out about her pregnancy, he started turning over a new leaf. He stopped hitting her and became sweeter. She thought it would last long. She silently hoped that it would.

Her pregnancy was a complicated one. And when she reached full-term, the ob-gyn decided that it would be best if a Caesarian operation was done. And it was.

She didn’t expect that her husband would regress to his old ways after she gave birth. He started hitting her again. He got jealous of the times she spent with their son and he demanded more of her attention.

She looked at the bruises and scars on her arms and hands. She knew that the best thing to do was leave this violent and emotionally draining relationship, but she did not want to. She would endure all of these for her happiness: for her son.

Others may not agree with what she does. Many would say that it’s best for her to leave and start a new life for her and her son. But she chose not to. For her, the wounds and scars that she earned would be her testament to how much she loves her family, and her son. It would be a testament to how much a mother and a wife can endure to keep her family together.

An author wrote in one of his essays, “Scarred people are beautiful. They have known pain, defeat and grief. And they manage to stand up and learn lessons that are essential in life.”

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